


I'd Rather See Your Star Explode

by Hopestill



Category: Fire Emblem Heroes, Fire Emblem: If | Fire Emblem: Fates
Genre: Anxiety Attacks, Canon Atypical Violence, Gen, Horror, Nightmares, fire emblem heroes has a really weird world if you think about it, the takumi tag applies for all versions of him
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-05
Updated: 2020-08-05
Packaged: 2021-03-05 23:00:30
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,000
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25733233
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Hopestill/pseuds/Hopestill
Summary: In which Takumi gets terrible gacha luck in every sense of the word as he copes with getting ripped from everything he's ever known from the World Of Birthright And Conquest and thrown into the thick of Askr. It... doesn't go well.
Kudos: 13
Collections: Calamity's Advent





	I'd Rather See Your Star Explode

**Author's Note:**

> Hi hello! I was thinking about how messed up the world of Zenith is given the advent of fallen!Heroes, not to mention the concept of summoning duplicates of a unit, so this is what came out of it. Poor Takumi has a bad day, but at least he's not alone in having it? Based slightly off of starting a new game in Heroes since the game gives you a free Takumi.
> 
> As seen in Calamity's Advent (a free Fire Emblem horror zine, go check it out @InvincibleZine on Twitter!)

“Shut up, Nohrian scum!” Takumi bellowed, taking a step forward and shaking his fist at the women in front of him. “To think you would abandon your family like this…! I’ll kill you all!” Corrin seemed to be the only one affected; Elise appeared more annoyed than nervous and Camilla just smiled at him with a frighteningly soft smile - was that a giggle? Why couldn’t they take him seriously, if only they knew he truly could kill them all with his bare hands, he knew he could and he’d  _ enjoy it _ -

A burst of pain coursed through his head at the climax of the mental tirade. He retreated to his troops, waving them onward into Cheve to cover for him. He wrapped his arms around himself, breathing heavily. No normal headache would have lasted this long, tormented him for so long with these ideas. He heard cries from the battlefield, and commanding shouts from Scarlett - he should join in, he had to, so why couldn’t he? How could he be so pitiful, so- so weak? He looked over his shoulder; Corrin was still staring at him. Damn it, why wasn’t he able to end all of this suffering?

“Enough!” he yelled suddenly, no longer at anyone. 

Blinking, Takumi found he was no longer in the shadowy village buried along the Nohrian border. Rather, imposing ancient ruins reaching for the sky; bright, almost blinding sunshine; and pillowy clouds greeted him. “What-”

“Summoner! Good work!” A strange voice chirped behind him and he was so thankful that he had the foresight to not send his already nocked arrow flying. “Whoa, a little jumpy are we?”

“Who are you? And more importantly, where the hell is this?” He saw a strange group of black clad archers and fighters advancing upon their position. The hairs on his neck stood up. “When this is over, I’ve got some questions.” 

He let the arrow fly - whoever these assailants were, they were unfit for much more than a quick sparring match, as the poor soldiers all but walked into the arrow. The girl behind him ran in front, wielding an axe as large as she was; using her body as a fulcrum, she brought the full weight of it down upon a spearman, making short work of him. The final enemy combatant, another axe user, advanced upon Takumi’s position. Right before he assailed Takumi, a blue haired man raced in front of the archer and raised his sword; shifting his weight onto his back foot, the man tilted the sword and the axe slid off, momentum knocking the poor soldier off balance. The soldier stumbled, unguarded. 

“Now, Sharena!”

A blonde woman nodded and gripped her lance tighter; Takumi noted her white knuckles, her uneven breathing. She ran forward and, with a cry, stabbed the man through the side. Pulling her lance out of the assailant, she watched his body fall to the ground. A deep sigh escaped her. “That was close. Good thinking, Alfonse! And you are…?” The blonde leaned around the blue haired man and looked quizzically at Takumi. “Geez, you don’t look like you’re from around here.”

“Of course I’m not!” he spat; the girl winced and Alfonse spun around, now protecting Sharena with his sword still raised. “One minute I’m in Cheve, next thing I know I’m who-knows-where with you all fighting for my life!”

“Whoa, calm down!” Sharena responded, putting her lance down and holding her hands up. Alfonse raised an eyebrow. “We’re not the bad guys,” she continued.

“You kidnapped me! From my point of view it seems that way!”

“Will you all just  _ calm down _ ?!” The girl with the axe said as she leaned against her weapon, rolling her eyes. A hooded figure stepped out from behind the trees - Takumi shifted his weight so if need be he could run, run far away from these strangers and their cavalier attitudes. “Listen, Takumi-”

“How do you know my name?”

“Will you just let me finish?!” Her fierce voice cut through any excuses Takumi had, and if he had the strength to complain it was worn through by the sudden onset of yet another migraine. Wave after wave of pulsing pain coursed through his head; he bit his lip. “I’m Commander Anna of the Order of Heroes, and this is Prince Alfonse,” she gestured to the blue haired man who nodded, maintaining his guard, “and Princess Sharena!” Sharena smiled apologetically at the silver haired archer. Noticing Takumi’s furrowed brow and tense gaze, Anna glanced to the side at the hooded figure he was staring in the direction of. “Oh, and that’s Kiran! Kiran’s actually the reason why you’re here.”

“You… What do you mean?”

“Come back to the castle with us; it’s not safe out here. Embla’s bound to send reinforcements. We’ll explain everything there.” Anna put her hand on Alfonse’s shoulder - with a deep sigh, the prince put his sword back in its scabbard and waved on the archer to join their group. 

“Guess I don’t have much of a choice…” Takumi mumbled under his breath, and he fell in line with the rest of them.

\--

“As we said before,” Anna started, glancing around the war table at her companions, “we’re the Order of Heroes. We’re essentially Askr’s strikeforce, protecting us from Embla.”

“Askr’s the country we rule!” Sharena cut her off, “and Embla’s our neighbor.” 

“Yeah yeah, I figured that out,” Takumi grumbled, rubbing the back of his head; his headache from Nohr had yet to abate. “Still doesn’t explain why I’m here.”

Alfonse sighed, drumming his fingers on the table. He glanced over at Kiran, who remained as motionless as ever. It freaked Takumi out, truth be told - this... man? Woman? Person - they never said anything, never even  _ moved _ , yet these three could tell exactly what they wanted to contribute to the conversation with perfect clarity. The conversation droned on, words falling into meaningless obscurity as Takumi stared, boring holes into the Summoner, trying to identify something beyond the black hole below their hood, where their face  _ should _ have been.

“Provided Breidablik has enough ammo, of course!” Anna’s chipper voice startled Takumi. She gestured about, pointing to the stacks of rainbow orbs piled haphazardly all across the room. “Kiran is planning to summon some more Heroes soon, so we’re stockpiling these bad boys.” 

If Takumi had the ability to construct a respectful response, it had died long ago. He sat there, pretending to process the deluge of information thrown at him, half of it rushing through his brain like so much stormwater whirling in a flooded stream of his addled mind. “So when do I go home?” was all that he could manage in response, his voice barely above a whisper. The prince and princess looked at each other, as did Anna. An awkward, heavy silence hung over the room - was that a smirk on Kiran’s face? A blink later and it was as if the Summoner had never twitched a muscle in their life. 

“You can’t go home until Kiran dismisses you,” Alfonse stated dryly, as if he was reading off a grocery list. 

“Oh, that’s it! You can’t-”

“You’ll be returned to the exact place and time that you were summoned from! If it helps, you can think of this as a happy dream!” Sharena chirped, and she immediately stumbled back as Takumi lunged out of his seat. 

“Alright, enough!” Anna grabbed the archer by the scruff of his neck and threw him out of his chair. He groaned as she dragged him along the floor, out of the room, and down a barren hallway. Her steps were just as heavy as her voice; “You’re gonna have to calm down and learn some manners!” She all but threw him into a small room and slammed the door shut. The door nearly bounced off its hinges, were it not for the lock clicking into place. “I don’t care what your previous alliances were - you work for Kiran and the Order now so get used to it!”

A silence hung between the two, broken only by her footsteps echoing back down the hallway. Takumi leaned against the door, fists balled, for long enough that any feelings subsided in favor of pure exhaustion. Thankfully, Anna had deemed it fit to toss him into an actual bedroom, rather than some decrepit dungeon cell. With a deep sigh, he collapsed into the bed, asleep before his head even hit the pillow.

\--

Takumi tossed and turned underneath the singular scratchy blanket in the room. Macabre visions danced in his mind, of his family reunited only to die once more, mocking him for his utter ineptitude, his utter cowardice; how dare he sob, cry, feel, when this was all his fault to begin with? Mikoto’s hand reached out, stroking his tear stained cheek, before he heard the voices of his family.

“We didn’t raise you to run away.”

He awoke with a start, heart racing, pounding in his chest so fast he felt queasy and bent over the edge of the bed. “Not again… I can’t-” 

A knock at the door startled him. “Are you ready to go?” 

Sharena. 

“Go, uh, go where?” still unsure if he was dreaming or not, he stumbled out of bed. 

“To the summoning circle! Kiran’s about to head over, and maybe seeing some other Heroes will help your anxiety!” Sharena’s voice was always kind; whether she genuinely cared for him or simply wanted to put him at ease was up in the air, but he felt like he could, at the very least, believe her words.

“Fine, fine, just… Give me a second.”

When he left the room, bleary eyed and ponytail loose in his hair, he found the princess bouncing on the balls of her feet right outside his door. “Come on, come on!”

“You don’t have to push me- hey, wait!” He stumbled as Sharena grabbed his hand and ran, laughing the entire time - it reminded him of Hinoka when she was little, how she’d lead him and Sakura around to see all the exciting things happening at the market. It brought a smile to his face as the two raced through the winding hallways, out a side door and towards a large staircase, where a certain redhead was waving her arms over her head. 

“Good morning, lazybones!” Anna yelled from the top of the summoning circle - Alfonse was already there, and Kiran was facing the five stones, sliding orbs into a magazine. “You’re just in time.” The summoner pushed the magazine into Breidablik, the device clicking satisfactorily. They raised it aloft in the air and pulled the trigger - red light swirled around one of the portals, bringing some form into life. A young man with tawny hair, with a long red scarf and knives, wearing clothes Takumi wasn’t familiar with - this man definitely wasn’t from Nohr, but where?

“Hey, the name’s Matthew! Where... exactly am I?” He scratched the back of his head and gave a befuddled glance toward the Askrian Trio.

“We’ll explain fully in a bit, but you’re safe here!” Sharena smiled at Matthew, who seemed to take everything in stride; nodding, he went to go stand by Takumi. 

The summoner loaded four more orbs into the magazine and repeated the process. A blonde cleric who kept asking about her brother, a blue haired swordsman who vowed to avenge his father, and a green haired mage who seemed to know Matthew all followed from the different portals in the circle. “How many more are there?” Takumi grumbled, folding his arms as the mage girl and Matthew chatted amicably next to him.

Once more, the summoner raised Breidablik aloft, firing it. Gray light swirled violently around, undulating and twirling in on itself before rising to the sky. The form of a human being took shape - a male, a young adult, with long silver hair tied up in a complicated ponytail, a blue scarf wrapped around his neck - Takumi rubbed his eyes as the sight unfurled in front of him. “Hey, whoa! I’m Takumi. You don’t look like Nohrians…” 

Takumi blinked once, twice, and took a step back - right onto the blonde cleric’s foot. He hissed at her protests, stifling a tremor as she returned to ignoring him and his mirror image. The other Takumi looked, acted, spoke to the Askrian quartet like everything was fine - how could he, knowing what Takumi knew? And moreover, why was there another one of him in the first place?

The other Takumi trailed off mid sentence. He pushed past Anna - ignoring her sound of annoyance - and walked right up to Takumi. The two stood at the edge of the summoning circle, mouths slightly agape, mimicking each other’s motions. The doppelganger shook his head. “You’re… Another me?” 

“Looks like it…” The two of them glanced back at the Askr trio - Kiran standing off in the distance, observing while Anna mused over something with the royalty - and looked at each other. With a nod, the two snuck down the stairs. 

\--

“So, wait. You’re from a world where Corrin sided with Hoshido?”

“Yeah. I was waiting for him to come back from training, when-”

“And your Corrin is a guy?”

“Isn’t yours?”

The two stared at each other from across the bedroom, Takumi on the bed and the other leaning against the wall. There was no way this could be right. They both put their hands underneath their chins and raised an eyebrow at the other; even their mannerisms a perfect copy of each other. 

“Well, let’s start back at the beginning, I suppose. Corrin came home from Nohr.” Takumi’s voice was hoarse. They had talked about everything under the sun, which was now sinking beneath the horizon, the last stretches of twilight the only light illuminating the room. 

“Yeah, that’s right.”

“And then Mother...” He exhaled a shaky breath. ”We won’t go into that. But if this all sounds the same to you, then what happened after?”

“We met the Nohrians right outside the kingdom, Xander and the rest of them. Corrin didn’t want to fight, naturally, so Xander demanded him to come home. Ryoma did too. Of course, Corrin made the right decision and stuck with us.” The mirror image leaned against the wall, satisfied.

“See, that’s where it’s different,” Takumi shook his head. “Corrin gleefully went to join Xander in my world. And after that- Agh!” He bent over, putting his head between his knees, groaning. 

“Takumi?!” The other knelt down, hands hovering over Takumi’s back, uncertainty characterizing the few motions he made. “What’s wrong?”

“Headache… It comes and goes. N-nothing to worry about,” Takumi murmured. Truly, it was nothing to worry about, even as low rumbling waves of pain crashed through his skull, even as the faint whisper of words that weren’t his obscured his own thoughts. The other Takumi shook his head. 

“No… That might be serious, just-”

“This entire damn situation is serious! I don’t need pity, especially from you.” Takumi snapped at the other, who frowned. “It can wait, at any rate.”

“Fine,” the doppelganger huffed and turned to the door. “I’m going to bed. You should probably do the same. But if it gets any worse… Come talk to me, ok? I might be able to help.” Silence filled the room, followed by the squeak of closing hinges; only then did Takumi let himself collapse into the mattress, wrapping himself in the scratchy fabric of the blanket. His thoughts reeled, crashing against his headache, only abating when the void of sleep claimed him.

\--

“Birthright, Conquest, what does it matter?” 

Booming voices jolted through Takumi’s body; perplexed, he rubbed his eyes and sat up in the sudden abyss. The hairs on the back of his neck stood up, and he instinctively reached for Fujin Yumi - of course it wasn’t next to him, why would he be granted that privilege?

The only other distinct figure was himself, the doppelganger, who looked just as perplexed and frustrated as he  **knew** he was. “All that matters here are your boons and banes,” the voices of young women, middle aged men, squeaky voices and deep voices all reverberated through the abyss. “You will make for a good arena project.”

“Project? Are we just playthings to you?!” Both screamed against the darkness.

“No, just him.”

A thousand spotlights shone on Takumi. The other tried to reach out for the light but saw the light through his hand - rapidly fading, body translucent, he reached and clawed at Takumi. He stumbled onto his knees, falling onto his face as his legs disintegrated into nothingness. Takumi watched his other self scream and cry, fading rapidly; adrenaline coursed through his veins as he, against all odds, felt stronger, faster,  **healthier** somehow. Like this was somehow a  **good thing** . 

Watching the tears stream down the other’s face, his counterpart’s legs turning into stumps at the ankles, then knees, then mid thigh, choked screams turning into gurgles - it tore through him. Watching his family die in his dreams repeatedly was something he could pretend to get used to, but watching himself die, fears and all, seeing how desperately the other him clung to life, knowing it was futile, cut through him. He just rose his hands to his mouth, his own choked screams muffled by his gloved hands. 

“This is for your own good, Takumi. Your stat base is too low naturally. Isn’t this what you wanted? To be stronger?”

\--

“Hey, Takumi!” Sharena’s loud voice cut through the memory of the dream; Takumi merely sighed. He absentmindedly stirred the bowl of… whatever breakfast was. Those feelings, that rush of adrenaline, how much more accurate he was at target practice that morning, it never truly left after that dream. No matter how much he prayed it was just a mere nightmare, the sinking pit in his stomach as he replayed the scenes in his mind told him it was much more occult. As Sharena bounced up to him, he opened his mouth. Instead, she cut him off with a chipper, “Kiran found a bunch of chalices! We can get different Heroes this way!”

“...How?” Takumi mumbled, incredulous.

“No clue!” Sharena smiled. “But Kiran knows how.”

“Of course. Hey, listen, I had… Something happened. I don’t want to see Kiran right now. I’ll be training if you need me.”

“Ok! You can always talk to me if you’re worried about something!” Sharena spotted her brother across the dining hall and ran off, while Takumi meandered through the strangely empty castle, trying to find his way back to the training grounds. 

He felt a sense of calm repeatedly nocking arrows in his bow and watching them hit the bullseye (or at least somewhere close to it; he cursed himself at each less than perfect shot). A man with a strange accent watched him train for a few minutes, mentioned something about Alfonse, and promptly wandered off rambling something about a wyvern. Nothing that could have particularly mattered-

“Thought I’d find you here!” Alfonse gave a rare smile, and Takumi immediately felt the hairs on his neck stand up. “Kiran wanted me to tell you that you’ll be training with your new teammates.”

“Huh, who are-” His blood ran cold as he saw the lineup; the others could have been dolls for all he cared. No, there was another version of him, one with purple magic swirling around him, hollow red eyes unfocused in two different directions, barely standing on legs that  **shouldn’t** be bending like  **that** . This version swayed back and forth, as if pushed by the gentle breeze, and the stench of decay - how did the others not notice, nor care? 

Introductions flew out the window; the only thing on his mind now was not looking like a coward scared of his own shadow. Mumbling a greeting, he immediately bowed out and marched away. Finding Kiran and pounding some answers out of the elusive figure was all that kept him grounded, and yet deep down he knew nothing from the Summoner would guide him. There was only one person he knew could truly give him a straight answer, and there she was on the opposite side of the grounds, training against a practice dummy.

“Hey…” He was so tired, merely surviving at this point. She waved and put her spear down, wiping the sweat from her brow. “I don’t know where the other Takumi went, but he came from a similar world as me, right? If that’s the case,” Takumi pointed at the other him slumped against the wall, “where the hell did he come from?”

“Well...” Sharena put a finger to her chin, “Commander Anna told me that all Takumis-” his stomach turned, “come from either the World of Birthright or Conquest.” 

“So which is that one from?” his voice cracked with panic. Sharena hummed, lost in thought for far longer than he would have liked, before simply shrugging,  **shrugging** . “Oh for- Kiran would know.”

The princess grabbed his arm as Takumi began to storm off. He turned around, about to snap at her, but stopped just short of it upon seeing her too wide eyes and gigantic smile. “Kiran’s busy right now! 

Don’t you dare interrupt the Summoner; we all owe our lives to them.”

“What…” 

“But! I’m sure Kiran would answer your questions upon their return!” she grinned and clapped her hands together. “Do you think the new Takumi would know?” 

Reflecting back on his final conversation with the other Takumi, he nodded. “Yeah, I think he might-” he turned his gaze onto an empty wall. “Oh, damn it.”

“You’ll find him tomorrow!” Sharena smiled, waving her brother over from the other side of the courtyard. “Come on, maybe we can all do something fun, something to get your mind off of this!”

\--

That something fun ended up being berry picking and pie making for all of the other Heroes, which lasted for the entire day. Alfonse had already retired for the night, leaving Takumi and Sharena sitting on a bench in the castle garden, chatting away. The conversation was about everything under the sun, from weird things they had seen and experienced to how cool that bug on the bush looked. It was the first bit of normalcy Takumi had experienced, and it softened his bristled demeanor around the blonde. “Oh, hold on for a sec, gotta get something!” Sharena stood up and walked off. Right as she disappeared from his view, she returned. 

“Takumi! It’s your lucky day!” Sharena frowned. “I don’t want you to go, but Kiran said that it was time for you to go back home.”

“Huh… Wasn’t I supposed to be a part of a team?”

“I dunno, Kiran’s explanation didn’t make much sense, something about a tier list?” Sharena sighed. “...I’m gonna miss you, Takumi. You saved us.”

“Hey…” He stood up and ruffled her hair affectionately, a gesture that shocked the both of them. “Yeah, I’ll miss you too.”

“I won’t forget you.” She patted him on the back. 

As he walked for the last time back to the summoning circle, he felt a sharp pain in his head, bringing him to his knees. He cursed, holding his head in his hands, hearing a small voice in the back of his mind growl something about killing and saving his family and-

“...Betrayal…”

He looked behind him - the other Takumi was swaying on the bridge, growling something about betrayal, the voice that always rang in Takumi’s head. His eyes went wide as Kiran approached him, Breidablik in hand and finger firmly on the trigger.

“No… Stop, don’t send me back there, I can’t hurt anyone anymore, I  **can’t** , please!”

And with a blinding flash of light, Takumi found himself back in the darkness of Cheve, where the voice in his head had a name and the headache hurt even more with the weight of what was to come. He stared at Corrin, at the Nohrian Princesses, with tears streaming down his face. 

“Brother, what just-”

“I’m so sorry.”


End file.
